What a wonderful day it was....after a pretty good night of sleep I woke-up and the sun was shinning after days of rain and we were off to hold our 2nd born son Landon. The only thing that could have made this day better was having Reagan there and my step-daughter Amanda there.
We got to the hospital around 9:30 and the nurse prepared Landon to be held, she had to move around his oxygen and IV tubing so we could take him out of his incubator to hold him. This felt like it took much longer than it did, the anticipation was almost too much. With my husband looking on and my mother looking on through the window (the NICU only allows 2 people at a time) I was handed Landon and at that very moment I could only see him, everything around me was gone and my heart melted away. I was fixated on him and could not believe this day had finally come. There are absolutely no words to describe the feeling I had, a mother's love is never ending. Amazing!
After holding Landon it was Phil's turn to hold him, he had not held him since he was born and even then it was only for a minute. Seeing my husband with Landon, one of our creations was one of the sweetest things I have ever seen, it pulled on my heart strings in a major way. Phil was gazing at Landon with loving eyes and again my heart melted seeing them together.
After Phil held Landon he was off to see Reagan at CHLA and I was able to hold Landon for another hour and a half and this time with my mother by my side. Landon was very calm and slept most of the time. This time with Landon was incredible and leaving him was hard but knowing that we would be able to hold him again made it easier.
After all of this happiness there was some underlying sadness knowing that my first born Reagan was so far away and still very sick but making slow progress towards us being able to hold him. I wanted him to be there and to be able to hold him too, all in due time....I cannot wait for that day, until then I will continue to be strong and pray for the health of both of our sons.
In the days to come I look forward to my mother holding Landon and for more good news about Reagan and Landon's progress.
Hillary
I loved being there for this day. We had made plans for you to come hold the night before so all morning I kept watching the clock. (Is it time for them to come yet?!) I couldn't wait to get him out for you!!!
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