The Story of my first visit to see Reagan at CHLA by Hillary

Yesterday, January 19 was a pretty good day, not only was I feeling a little better from the c section but I was going to see my first born, Reagan.  I got up, had a shower and put on some make-up for the first time in over a week, I felt somewhat normal minus the healing from my surgery.  My mother drove me to CHLA (I cannot drive for 2 weeks) and I was just amazed with this hospital from the second we got there.  What an amazing atmosphere it was. 

My mother and I proceeded to the Giraffe elevators to go up to the 3rd floor to see Reagan.  Seeing the elevators painted with Giraffes was up lifting because our nursery is decorated in Giraffes.  We were greeted by social worker who is possibly one of the nicest people I have met in a very long time.  After we scrubbed up and suited up we went in to see Reagan and my heart overflowed with love when I saw him, at that moment I could only see him, not the many machines he was hooked up to.  I guess this is what love does, it helps you to look past the negative.  I had not seen him since the airlift doctors were preparing to take him from the Oxnard hospital, which nearly broke my heart.  My mother had not met Reagan yet so this was a very special day for her, she immediately fell in love with him. 

Over the next few hours we sat with Reagan and learned a lot from nurse Belinda who has worked there for over 27 years.  Our visit was interrupted a couple times so I could go and pump milk for our boys, when the boobs call I must answer.  Before we left we were able to speak with one of the doctors, Dr. Tam and she went over everything on Reagan and answered any all of our questions.  It was only my first visit and I was so impressed by the staff, which is a great feeling.  I truly believe that Reagan is in the best hands and because of this leaving Reagan there was easier than I thought it would be, however it is never easy.

On the way home we stopped in Oxnard and saw Landon and my day was complete.  I could now go home and sleep better having seen both of my sons that day.  My mom and I were exhausted after a long day of visiting both boys but, we rested well that night with our hearts filled with love for our boys.  A feeling I have never known before, the joy of being a mother has just begun and there are no words for the amount of love I have for our sons.  Amazing!

A little on today, January 20th.  My mother and I went to see Landon and were told that they would be trying to either take him off the ventilator either tonight or tomorrow and everything seemed to be going pretty good for him.  They have been lowering the ventilator levels all day and he is basically on room air at this point.  Landon was active while we were there, moving around a lot and even stopping to take some time to hold hands with me.  Sweet boy!  After we got home from seeing him the hospital called and said they were going to hold off on taking him off the ventilator until tomorrow, not because there was anything wrong, they just wanted to hold off a little bit longer.  I am hopeful that when they do take him off the ventilator he will continue to progress and not have to go back on it.  This would be a huge milestone.  Fingers crossed and lots of prayers please.  We will keep you updated on this. 

Thanks to all who are following the progress of Reagan and Landon, continue to send your prayers as both are not out of the woods yet. 

Hillary